March 6th, 2021

Journal Away

I was never comfortable journaling. While I had journaled when I was younger, I didn’t pick it up again until the beginning of quarantine. Over the past six months, journaling allowed me to express my emotions, reflect on myself, and see my growth. In the weeks leading up to quarantine, I was experiencing a huge emotional and academic burnout. The relationship with journaling during quarantine let me see past the negative, concrete on the positive, and focus on growing my character. After a few months of journaling, I turned my attention to incorporating my inventive techniques to display my thoughts and personal experiences.

Journaling let me form an interesting and novel interpretation and instill social awareness. In combination with blackout poetry, phrase cutouts from magazines, and drawings to an ode to the women of 1920, I use my journaling to defy gender stigma and cultivate empowerment to bring intergenerational perspectives. Around the drawings, I write mini poems to encompass its meaning, journal my thoughts around the blackout poetry, and record my feelings on the letters I formed with the phrase cutouts.

I use journaling to rearrange my opinions and reveal my struggles. I’ve been writing a series of poems on imposter syndrome, particularly surrounding my own experiences of being bilingual and feeling like I don’t belong, the hardships of those who are biracial, and those who have passive bilingualism. I first journal down all my unfiltered thoughts to get everything off my chest into words. After that, I looked at my piece and arranged sentences to reflect imposter syndrome and how I can incorporate different mediums into my journal to showcase my topic. My poetic language brings attention to societal health. Using the imagery and personification of an intersection, I produce pieces that allow me to engage with the attention of imposter syndrome and incorporate personal accounts and research.

I’ve also been able to just let my thoughts run on the paper. While incorporating art mediums have shaped my journal, I’ve also learned that taking the time to reflect on myself, people around me, and my bad and good days inspire me to create. I’ve journaled in a poetic style, short story style, and even in the style of a letter to my future or past self. I’ve flourished in journaling as I’ve learned to incorporate different styles of art and creativity, take time for myself to think to make myself a better writer, and developed a deeper sense of empathy and perspective toward the world.

While journaling has let me form words that show my growth, my issues, and experiment with a variety of mediums, it’s also allowed me to reflect on my thinking. I’ve been able to educate myself through my journaling with original techniques and research further to educate myself on various issues. Journaling during quarantine has let me piece together a stronger association with words and track the thoughts of my everyday life. Connection with journaling has not only made me a stronger person, but a stronger artist within the community.

With every burst of creativity, I aim to showcase that in my journal. I call it my artist journal now because while I still journal my perspective, I also use my expressiveness and art factors to showcase and enhance it even further. I take journaling as an art form, as anything can inspire me. Conversations, receipts, letters, and more can evoke emotions and let me see the deeper side of those things and me. I’ve been able to take those daily things and see the meaning behind it, addressing a new unspoken issue that I’m able to ponder on and write about in my journal.

While I push myself to journal every day, I’ve also learned to take journaling one page at a time. I’ve flourished in my thinking, perspective, and the way I view the world, but I’ve also flourished in my ability to journal in my head. When new conversations or virtual experiences arise, I learn to scribble down my words in my mind, to live and breathe at the moment. Journaling in my mind has taught me the patience to listen to others and to keep journaling, no matter how much I disagree with someone because there’s always room to keep growing and journaling. I’m able to take those journaled reflections in my mind and express them on paper to further evoke and enhance them.

Journaling has brought forth a new artistic and expressive side of me, one that can understand, imagine, and learn. While I once was not comfortable and good at journaling, I’ve found my authentic style of journaling to encompass my passion and inner perceptions. As each day continues, I hope to keep using journaling to create and connect with other people.