September 4th, 2020

Just An Other

i know the color spectrum is not the same as the “colored spectrum”
i know that my skin is a mixture of colors with no apparent connection
i know that the race of my dad is different than that of my mother
i know that i will always just be put into the category of “other”

because my white paint is a full half of a whole picture
because that comes with a pass and a higher mindset fixture
because it’s a white wave in and out of me washing all of who i am
because i’m not embracing anything underneath, it’s just a nice tan

none of my family looks like me
none of my friends look like me
none of the few “like me” look like me
none of me knows what it’s like being like me

it’s that everyone has hints of me, but what’s the full hue
it’s a mystery i can’t solve because i’m the unsolved clue
it’s a rainbow of colors, what paint do i pick
it’s a mess splattered everywhere, but the colors won’t stick

what box to check when u can’t check all
what affinity to join when u can’t join all
what place do u belong when you don’t belong in any
what race to identify with when you are so many

the one i’m “raised like”
the one i “act like”
the one who’s privilege i reap
the one who’s label i keep

we’re obsessed in a race-focused world trying to fit in a preset mold
we’re obsessed with the stagnant stereotypes that have rotted and grown old
we’re obsessed with forging our bonds with similar entities
i’m obsessed with simply finding out my own personal identity